Farmer Takes a Wife Page 4

  “Well damn,” Jack said walking into the bunkhouse. “I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t some serial killer or something.”

  Jamar ignored Jack’s words.

  “Thanks for sharing that with us, man, because we wanted to know. Jack wasn’t going to ask but I am from the Southside of Chicago, so I ain’t scared to ask you anything!” Jamar said with a laugh. “Let’s go and get this paperwork done so I can hand you the deed to your land.”

  “My land,” Carson repeated.

  “Your land, my brother,” Jamar said.

  Carson stood up and actually slapped his knee. “Dear Lord, please don’t let there be a catch to this. I am getting this land for a thousand dollars an acre. That is cheap considering the richness of that soil,” Farmer said Jamar.

  “I can sell it cheap because I got a good deal on 146,000 acres or something like that. I want people to rely on each other again. I want a community that supports and nurtures their neighbors. I am counting on you to grow us some good vegetables that wives can freeze or make into those jars of stored food people used to have in the old days,” Jamar said.

  “It is called canning. When you do it with fruit it’s called preserves,” Farmer told him.

  “Anyhoo, there are lots of details to go over, Farmer. I hope you will be happy here, but you know we have rules – no woman in Serenity unless she is your wife,” Jamar said.

  “Cyndi will be my wife after I go to Idaho Falls to get her,” he said with pride.

  “Is that why you came way out to Wyoming?”

  “Yes, she told me about this place being almost next door. She also knew I needed to start over,” he said. “I plan to go get her in a month or so. I need to set up shop and all.”

  “I hear ya. Let’s get this settled so we can get cleaned up for family game night,” he said with pride.

  “Family game night?”

  “Yeah, it’s over at Daniel and Darlene’s place. They own the general store on the corner of Smalls and Main Streets.”

  “What do you do on this family game night?”

  Jamar was grinning when he spoke, the fondness of the evening’s activity showing on his face. “Daniel fires up the grill. I usually bring a piece of pork which he hates. Holden catches fresh fish for the grill then we play games, talk about our week and just share in the love of family,” Jamar said.

  “Family?”

  “Yes, family. We are a family in Serenity. You are your brother’s keeper and every man must take a vow which says as much,” he said to him.

  “Is that the only catch?”

  “There are no catches, Farmer. You got good land. You have a new family and we are happy that you are in Serenity,” Jamar told him. “Let’s get this business part out of the way so we can move on to the fun evening.”

  Over the course for the next hour, Jamar covered everything from Jack putting in a septic tank system for his new home to the in-ground propane tank that Farmer would need to buy. As part of the sale, Jack would dig the well for Farmer’s home and his water supply.

  “Keep in mind, Farmer, no pesticides. The water on this land is what supplies the town. I don’t want to wake up to find I have grown an extra nut sack or a set of titties, okay!”

  “Say what?”

  “You heard me. Some of those chemicals, man, can destroy a brother. I have plans to one day have me some babies. I can’t be in bed with my woman and my titties are bigger than hers,” Jamar said.

  It lightened the mood and relaxed Farmer a good deal. He wasn’t quite certain about the family game night, but he had nothing else to do other than sit in an unfinished house in the middle of nowhere, the thought of which did not sound very appealing to him at all. His life had been lonely enough, living with a father who hardly spoke to him and mother who acted as if she only had one child. A child that wasn’t him.

  New start. New Life.

  “I think I am going to love it here,” he told Jamar.

  It could easily be stated that Carson Royal was not ready for family game night nor was he prepared to deal with all of the quirkiness that was Cassandra. The size of the home which Daniel and Darlene Wilstrom shared, based on what Jamar told him, had recently been expanded. The original space was not large enough to accommodate the ever-growing number of family members attending the Friday night fun.

  Holden spotted him first. “Hey Farmer, come meet my wife,” he said with love in his eyes as he gazed upon a very pregnant Talullah.

  “She looks like she’s ready to pop,” Farmer said.

  “So you and I will never be friends starting with a conversation like that,” Tallulah told. “Truth is, I am only seven months along. I swear this little hippie baby is doubling in size every week.”

  “Why does my son have to be a hippie baby?” Holden asked fondly.

  “Because the only time he is calm is when I eat two twigs, a piece of grass, and drink that funky ass tea you make out of peach skins and dead mime routines,” she said frowning.

  “It is called peach pantomime, Tallulah,” Holden corrected.

  “I don’t care if it is called peach fuzzy nipple. I want an icy cold Coke, some French fries, and a double cheeseburger with extra onions,” she said, gazing off into the sunset like the burger was a long-lost lover.

  “Farmer here is going to help us all stay nice and healthy with fresh veggies grown right here in Serenity,” Holden added.

  Tallulah gave Farmer the stink eye. “Yeah, I really don’t like you now,” she mumbled, struggling to get up the back stairs into the house.

  “I can grow you some potatoes to make your own homemade fries,” he called after her.

  She waved her hand at him, dismissing his potatoes and anything else he had to offer. She headed to the big chair with the extra pillows to take a seat and put her feet up to finish reading the novel for Wednesday night book club with Daniel. Her new life in Serenity was taking some getting used to, but overall, she loved Darlene and spending time with her. She even took a part time job in the store helping Darlene stock, order and prepare inventory for the winter. Holden had taught her how to make his vegetable soap and only a few tweaks were needed to make it woman friendly with fancy designs. The surplus of vegetables which arrived bi-weekly from Jamar’s wholesale order was used to make not only the soaps, but also canned goods for the winter for members of the town. Tallulah mastered the making of strawberry preserves which sat on Darlene’s shelves with cute red ribbons she’d ordered online from a packaging company. It was a different life. They had friends and a social life, if one could call it that. Her husband was happy with the amount of work he had in the town and she was happy with her Holden. Her hand absently rubbed at her belly as she watched him interact with the men.

  “Come on over, Farmer; let me introduce you to Daniel,” Holden said.

  “Nice to meet you, Farmer,” Daniel said as he closed the lid on the grill. “What is your actual name? Jamar likes to nickname everyone.”

  “I’m Carson Royal. I figured you guessed I was a...” something scampered across the porch drawing his attention away from Daniel. “What in the world?” he said, grabbing the axe from beside the wood pile.

  Jamar had arrived a few minutes before, entering through the front door and coming out the back as Roscoe stood still, his tiny beady eyes focused on Carson with the weapon. Carson moved forward and Roscoe took a defensive stance, his little black paws opening and closing like a mugger in a dark alley about to score. He looked like a mini bandit standing up on his hind legs to make his body seem bigger.

  “Man, put that down. You don’t want to tangle with Roscoe! That ‘coon is gangsta,” Jamar said.

  Roscoe made a move towards Carson, who backed up three steps to bump into something. He turned to issue an apology but instead jumped a foot in the air as a toothless woman goosed him. She was still trying to hold on to his butt cheeks as he swatted at her hands to release him.

  “Oh yeah, that’s Cassandra. I think she and the r
accoon have dead bodies over at her place; watch out for her,” Jamar warned.

  “He don’t need to watch out for me,” Cassandra said with a toothless smile. “I ain’t gonna hurt you none. Well, maybe a little bit if you like it kind of rough.”

  Carson was shaking his head no while Cassandra was nodding hers yes moving toward him as walked backwards up the steps taking slow steps until he reached the landing of the porch. Still holding the axe, he raised it slightly to keep Cassandra at bay, which made Roscoe think his owner was in danger. The little masked face came hurling at Carson, who screamed like a girl and took off running across the back porch with Roscoe hot on his heels.

  Cassandra, frowning at her pet’s antics, said to the gangster racoon, “Roscoe, I ain’t never gonna get any more loving if you keep chasing off good men.”

  “Get back over here!” A loud, unladylike whistle emitted from the two fingers stuck in her mouth.

  “Sorry about that,” she said. “I am Cassandra. I run an animal sanctuary about five miles west. Roscoe here is a rescue that came in from the rain one night and never left. He is protective of me, though.” She extended her hand with two slobber covered fingers. Carson was still shaking his head no.

  “That’s good to know,” Carson said.

  “You can get down from there. He ain’t gonna bite you or anything,” she said, looking at Carson perched on top of the banister like an overgrown cockatiel. Jamar paid Farmer no attention even after he screamed. He simply joined Daniel at the grill for the bi-weekly fight as he lay Kielbasa on the grates along with a few beef hot dogs.

  “What is all of this racket out here?” Darlene Wilstrom asked as she came out the back door.

  “Roscoe just met the handsome black man that I think I want to make all mine, Ms. Darlene,” Cassandra said with that gummy smile.

  “Cassandra?” Darlene said with her hands on her hips.

  “Yes Ma’am?”

  “We have talked about you accosting men you don’t know,” Darlene said to the woman.

  “Yeah, but Jamar knows him and I am trying to get to know him, too,” Cassandra said in her defense.

  “But again, Cassandra, if a man thinks it is too easy, he will not respect you,” Darlene said.

  “I don’t care nothing ‘bout that, Ms. Darlene. He will learn to respect this hot loving I am going to put on him,” Cassandra said. Daniel turned his head away like he didn’t hear the words the raccoon aficionado said.

  Darlene had lost her patience. “Get your ass in this house and leave that man alone. You don’t know anything about that man other than he bought some land over in Serenity!”

  “Jamar said he was going to be a farmer,” Cassandra whined, “Which means he can wield a tool,” she said looking back at Farmer, who was still perched on the railing while Roscoe paced back and forth under his feet. She winked at him. Carson shook his head no again.

  “In the house! Right this instant,” Darlene said in a motherly tone.

  “Yes, Ma’am,” Cassandra said, looking back at Carson and waving a pinky finger. Farmer was still shaking his head no as he watched the odd woman walk away.

  Darlene looked at Carson.

  He stared back at Darlene.

  The grown man was still perched on her banister holding on for dear life and trying to keep his balance.

  “She’s sweet but lonely. No disrespect to you, but...,” Darlene started.

  Carson looked around the porch for Roscoe before lowering one leg. He smiled at Darlene, speaking softly, “None taken and it is good that she has you to look out for her. There are a lot of bad men in the world ready to prey upon a trusting soul like...what was her name?”

  “Cassandra,” Darlene responded.

  “...Like Cassandra and her pet raccoon,” he said the last part with a grin. “Who in the world has a pet raccoon?”

  “That is not going to be the weirdest thing you see while you are in Serenity,” she said with a wry smile. “I am still trying to adjust to seeing a grown man cowering on my banister from a raccoon. Roscoe, get in here for your supper.”

  Roscoe stood on his hind legs and hissed at Carson, who jumped and lost his balance, landing with a thud on the ground. An air of confidence surrounded the mini thug raccoon as he strutted into the house on his hind legs like he had handled business. The mask-wearing rascal waited patiently by his little plate as Darlene served him an egg, two carrot sticks and a left-over piece of elk steak. He nodded his head as if to tell her thank you before he dug into his meal.

  Carson managed to get up off the ground to enter into the house.

  “Welcome to Serenity, our home, and family game night,” Darlene told him. “It is the wackiest family I have ever seen. I am thinking about shopping these characters around for a reality series because I don’t think anyone would ever believe it.”

  “I hope he likes to fish and hunt,” Daniel called out coming through the back door as he finished with the grilling for the evening.

  “Fishing I can do; hunting is not in my wheelhouse,” Carson said to him.

  “Are you opposed to killing your food or have you just never hunted?” Daniel wanted to know.

  “I don’t like the idea of stalking an animal or lying in wait to kill it,” he said.

  “Oh, so you are an animal rights activist? Or worse, a vegetarian?” Daniel asked with a frown. Holden turned glowering at him for the sideways crack on his eating habits.

  “No, I’m a farmer. I grow food from the soil. I’m here to grow your food,” he said firmly.

  “Works for me,” Daniel said.

  “Works for me as well,” Farmer added.

  “Meat’s all done, everyone; let’s eat,” Daniel said as he passed Carson and went into the kitchen.

  The inside of the home was as warm as its owners; the large table with bench seats accommodated every family member. A special chair had been made for a pregnant Tallulah, who munched happily on a sausage and fried potatoes with onions Darlene cooked especially for the mommy-to-be while stories floated about a spacious room which quickly filled with laughter. It was so welcoming he had to excuse himself twice to prevent the outpouring of more tears.

  Family.

  They were a family. He, too, now had a new one. He only needed to prepare his home for his wife-to- be.

  Jack arrived, with more swagger than Carson cared for, and took a seat next to Cassandra, who treated him like a brother. Maybe he could trust Jack with his Cyndi.

  “Jack, I may need a favor,” Carson said, opening a month-long discussion on the trip to Idaho Falls and Cyndi Kleene.

  Chapter 5- May Day – May Day

  A month sped by far more quickly than Carson had hoped, bringing in the cold winds of November. He was colder than he’d ever been in his life and no matter what he did, he could not seem to get warm enough, but work had to be done. Jack possessed a work ethic that he had not seen in many men. He showed up every morning on time, took the needed breaks, and was back at work, shutting down by six pm every day. Initially, Carson was worried that since Jack was the only game in town, he was going to price gouge on the foundation and assemblage of his home. To his surprise, the quiet contractor did not. The price was fair. The work timeline was solid, keeping them on a steady schedule.

  “I’m going to put the house on raised piers until the spring. I’m putting a cinder block foundation around as a brace then we will pipe in the concrete when the weather is more favorable for it to cure. I don’t like pouring concrete in the cold,” Jack told Carson.

  Two days were all Jack required to get the piers in place. A small crew showed up every morning and worked diligently, and at the end of the week, his house was assembled, standing proudly overlooking the small valley that was now Serenity Farms.

  “Jack, I’m going to need some kind of barn or unit for my farm equipment and tools. I’m headed out next week to pick up my new tractor in Cheyenne. I got a great deal on it,” he said.

  “There are a couple o
f options, but putting up a barn in November is going to be costly. We can order a premade shed and set it on cinder blocks, but that will depend on how big of a tractor you are planning to purchase,” he told Farmer.

  “I need a utility tractor with a few attachments for digging rows, carrying fertilizer, augging, that kind of thing,” he said to Jack.

  “Okay, so we can probably get a metal shed package around a 12 x 24 with a floor kit for a grand, but you have to factor in the labor to get it up,” he said.

  “Can you make it happen next week?” he asked.

  “Yeah, it’s starting to get cold so things are going to slow down with the exception of some light work,” Jack responded.

  “This entire process has been pretty awesome.”

  “When Jamar said you were buying the land, we took into consideration all the things you would need and the timetable which helped us plan accordingly,” he told him.

  The news made him happier than a pig in slop. He had a nice three-bedroom house which needed a woman’s touch. To save money, he went with the basics in everything. Basic countertops, white walls, laminate wood flooring, a water closet for the front of the house for guests, and a shower bath tub combo. The idea of this house being the one he would hand over to his son as he built a bigger one for him and Cyndi made him smile quietly to himself.

  “That smiling thing for no reason is kind of creepy. Just so you know,” Jack said to him, watching him out of the corner of his eye.

  “Oh, it’s for a reason. Her name is Cyndi,” Farmer told him as he pulled out his cellphone to share a photo of his lady with Jack.

  It was the damnedest thing for Jack Kinson. He had a reaction to the image. He’d never dated a black woman. Until Darlene had moved out to be with Daniel, he had never been around one. Or any black people for that matter. Now he was around three. Jamar was his sworn brother, and he liked Jamar a helluva lot better than his own blood brother. Holden was a happy man. Tallulah was funny. And there was never a dull moment around any of them. But, the image of Cyndi surprised him with his response to seeing her photo. She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous. There were no features which jumped out at him, but her eyes were so gentle that he was drawn in. He wanted to know more about Farmer’s Cyndi.