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  “So, you haven’t screwed her yet then?”

  “Sex has nothing to do with me liking a woman,” he said, “yeah it makes it easier, but it’s not necessary, and no I haven’t touched her. I don’t even know their names.”

  “What? Well, what do you call them?”

  “I call her Woman and the boy Cool Guy. I don’t know if I’m keeping them or dropping them off. I don’t want to get attached,” he said. “Tim, I’m here asking for help. Will you help me?”

  “On one condition,” Tim said grinning at Uriel. “You have to admit that you like me.”

  “But I don’t like you.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “Because I need your help.”

  Tim actually felt hurt as he asked the question, “And you’re taking me to dinner for steaks and wine and you don’t like me?”

  He saw the look in his eyes and thought of the Cool Guy. The Cool Guy said One Way gave him hope. The look in Tim’s eyes were all asking acceptance. He could be better, even if it hurt him.

  “Tim, we’ve known each other since we were kids,” One Way said, “you’re one of the few people who actually call me by my given name, which means that yes, I guess I do like you since I allow you that much familiarity.”

  “Ha, I knew it! Get over here for a hug,” Tim said outstretching his arms.

  One Way held up his hands, “there is a limit. Just because I like you a little won’t stop me from killing you just to watch you bleed and turn purple.”

  “Damn, you are an intense one, aren’t you?”

  “You have no idea,” he said, pulling out a sheet of paper with the sizes and measurements. He also passed Tim an envelope with ten one-hundred-dollar bills. “I’ll be back by dinner time.”

  He said no more as he climbed in his truck and headed to his next stop. He had a great deal to get done before six pm and taking Tim to dinner. He snapped his fingers for forgetting to tell Tim to buy the woman a nice set of expensive undies as a special gift from him, but on second thought, he again, didn’t want her to think he liked her or anything outrageous like that. He truly didn’t want her to think he needed to see her inside of the nice underwear modeling for him, although, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. It had been a while since he’d felt the softness of a woman under him.

  “No, bad idea Uriel, let that idea go right now,” he chastised himself. That was the last thing he needed. It may have been flitting around his mind on what he wanted, but it wasn’t what the lady deserved. He was truly a bad man, but he wasn’t a fucking bastard.

  Chapter Three- Pucker

  In the course of the evening, One Way learned a great deal about the adult Tim. He was still the same over the top kid he’d see at Summer Camp, but there was a way about him which, after a glass or three of wine, he managed to relax and enjoy the evening and conversation. He was also surprised to learn that Tim didn’t dine out, which changed the plans for the evening.

  “See, those little bastards in restaurants will put stuff in a gay man’s food and think it’s funny,” Tim said. “It only took once of finding a curly in my gravy to make me swear off eating out. I won’t even do a drive through.”

  “So, no to dinner?” One Way asked, almost disappointed; he didn’t know why and again, thoughts of driving to South Carolina to deal with Exit flashed in his head again.

  “Yes, to dinner, and twenty-dollar bottle of Pinot Noir from this little town outside of Portland, that goes perfect with these steaks I cook for dinner,” he said. “We also have salad, grilled asparagus, and I whipped up some sweet bread that we can top with either peaches of strawberries.”

  “You cooked for me?”

  “No, I cook for us,” Tim told him, “also, I spent all of the money and got you a new jacket. The one you’re wearing looks like shit.”

  “You bought something for me?”

  “Yes, now let’s eat before these steaks get cold,” Tim said watching One Way ask for a place to wash his hands. “Down the hall to the right.”

  The evening, much to Uriel’s surprise went exceptionally well, as they talked movies, books and the subject of Rocket the Racoon came up. Tim, having a copy of the movie gave it to One Way, only asking that he return it, the next time he was in the area. Promising to do so, the midnight hour approached.

  “I need to get going and find me a room for the night,” One Way said.

  “It is too late for you to pay for a whole night’s stay at a hotel to sleep in a bed where a fat man probably jizzed on the mattress,” Tim said. “There’s a guest room, take that, especially since you’re heading home in the morning.”

  “I don’t want to put you out,” One Way said, taking the glasses to the sink and starting the dishwater. He thought of Dex, Merge’s boy, as he washed the plates from supper.

  “It’s no trouble,” Tim told him. “I’m pooped. Oh, and I bought luggage for the Woman and Cool Guy. All of the clothes and necessities are in the luggage. Have a good night.”

  “Tim, thanks,” One Way said, as he placed the final dishes in the drain.

  He wasn’t one to take a bed when a perfectly good sofa was available. Plus, he liked to be close to the door should anything pop off and he needed time to react. His eyes went to the luggage that Tim had resting beside the front door. An eight-piece luggage set which was filled with a thousand dollars’ worth of goods for Woman and Cool Guy. The last thing he wanted to do was look through the contents, so he didn’t he removed his boots, and laid back on the couch. It was a light sleep but only five hours to home where he hoped a good afternoon nap would ease his soul back into contentment. If hindsight was actually twenty-twenty, he should have put on his glasses and went through the suitcases.

  The second thing he learned about Tim was that the man had a wicked sense of humor, which One Way didn’t find funny in the least.

  ****

  Breakfast was hot coffee, a strip of bacon shoved into a biscuit with a sunny side up egg, the yellow yolk dripping down the sides. He said his farewell to Tim and headed Southwest to Tennessee. There would be a week, if not two before he had to return to work. This also left him time to get Woman and Cool Guy settled in Louisville and to check on other matters in Knoxville.

  He arrived home, happy to see the place hadn’t burned down, but the curtains were off the front windows. This, was a cause of concern for him as he pressed the button to open the garage doors. He barely pulled inside when Cool Guy was spotted in the doorway with a wide smile. It nearly, but not quite, almost, just a tad bit, made One Way’s lips slide slightly to the left.

  Cutting the engine, he exited the vehicle. “Hey Cool Guy, come help me unload.”

  In the back of truck, were the groceries he stopped and purchased as well as the 8-piece luggage set, each item packed to the rim. When he loaded the items into the truck, he had a moment of doubt about what Tim had purchased, but looking at the time, coupled with the lack of sleep, he really needed to get rolling.

  “You bought all of this Mister?” He asked, peering inside of the bag to spot the bananas. “Ooooh! Bananas, milk, and oh wow, Captain Crunch!”

  Before One Way could move, the kid wrapped himself around his body, squeezing the breath out of him. Uriel tried prying the kid off, but he wouldn’t let go. The Woman appeared in the door way.

  “Hey! What is going on here?” She asked.

  “Mom, he bought the bananas, milk and he even got the cookies to make the banana pudding. He also brought me some Captain Crunch,” Cool Guy said. “Plus, there’s more in the back of the truck. There’s luggage which means we have fresh clothes. I’m too excited.”

  “Fine, but can you be excited over there,” One Way said, prying the kids arms from around his waist.

  “No, I want to be excited right here, plus you’re home and you’re safe,” Cool Guy said, finally releasing him.

  One Way didn’t know how to react when he saw the shimmer of tears in the boy’s eyes. Instead, he turned his ire on the wom
an. His face was contorted when he looked at her.

  “Why are the curtains down in the living room?”

  “They were dusty and smelled like old fried meat,” she said, thumping him on the arm as she walked by him.

  “Don’t ever touch me Woman!” He snapped at her, “and why did you go in my bedroom?”

  “The room smelled like sweaty socks and smelly boots, which, just so you know, are airing out on the back porch,” she told him, grabbing a bag of groceries and thumping him again as she passed him.

  “Mom!” Cool Guy said, “stop messing with him. He went and got us all of this stuff. There’s luggage in back. What if he puts us in the truck and drops us off with the luggage at some half-way house?”

  “He’s not going to do that!”

  Both Cool Guy and One Way looked at her and at the same time asked, “how do you know that?”

  “Because he likes you,” the woman said, “he doesn’t care too much about me, but you, he would want to make sure is okay. You remind him of himself as a kid. You’re his chance to make some things that went wrong in his life better.”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to push his buttons,” Cool Guy said. “You’re pushing my buttons. Let the man get inside of his own house and rest after coming home from work. Ma, go make him a sandwich and some tea. I’ll get this stuff.”

  “I already made him a nice lunch, his tea is on the table, and fresh clothes are laid on the bottom of his bed, so he can shower and relax,” she said, turning to look at her son and the man. Out of spite, she reached over, thumped her son on the arm and One Way as well. “Go in and eat, we’ll get this stuff.”

  His response was a low, throaty growl. “I want those curtains back up ASAP.”

  “As soon as they are dry and I press them, I will rehang them all,” she said lifting her chin in defiance.

  “All?”

  “Yes, all,” she said pointing towards the house.

  One Way took a step forward towards the woman and she shrank back. His eyes said he was angry but the kid stepped in between them. The boy was touching One Way on the arm while he gave his mother the stink eye.

  “I’m pretty sure you’re tired,” Cool Guy said, “probably could use a bite to eat too. I know I would like a bowl of the Captain Crunch, and I’m going to drink the milk from the bowl when I’m done.”

  One Way’s eyes went to the kid. The woman was right. He liked the kid. She on the other hand, was working his last good nerve. After lunch, he’d reach out to Bleu Neary and see about getting her a place to live, then tomorrow, he would take them both to Louisville, and get gone. Louisville was less than four hours away, and if it worked out, he was willing to drive the four hours tonight to be rid of the woman.

  Well, that was until he walked inside of his home. Immediately, he noticed the different smell. Obviously, he become nose blind to his own scent in the place because now it smelled, lemony fresh clean. The windows, which had a dull sheen over them, which he appreciated, were now clean and clear as the day they were installed. Window sills which were once the graveyard to fly carcasses were clean.

  The round, wooden table which seated four, but usually only held one, had napkins on them with a table cloth, and place mats. He didn’t even know he had those things in the house. The woman had set a place for one for him to enjoy his meal, of pasta in a red sauce with two large meatballs.

  “I didn’t have any pasta in the house,” he said looking at the table then at her. He would wring her neck if she left the house to walk to the local store at the bottom of the mountain to make the purchase.

  “You didn’t,” she snapped back at him. “You did have flour and eggs along with salt, so I made it.”

  “I don’t have a pasta maker,” he said, feeling some kind of way for snapping at her.

  “I created it by hand, because I wanted you to come home to nice meal,” she told him. “I cleaned the house, washed your clothing, and scrubbed your walls and floor. All I was hoping for was a thank you. I did it to say thanks for you letting us stay here.”

  One Way’s stomach rumbled. He was hungry and the food looked tasty. He walked away from both the woman and boy, going to his bedroom. It too smelled fresh. The bed was turned down, the pillows fluffed and his lounge pants rested on the bottom of the bed. The closet door stood ajar as he looked inside. The clothes he’d casually threw on a hangar had been hung, all the tops facing in one direction. Next, he checked his dresser and she’d folded his clothes and matched his socks.

  “Frick. Frack. Fruck,” he growled, wanting to kick something really hard until it bled. “She’s trying to make me like her and I don’t like it!”

  He used the bathroom, then washed his hands, staring at himself in the ultra-clean bathroom mirror. Even his bathroom smelled like she’d peeled a lemon and wiped down the toilet bowl. “This woman is a threat to my sanity and I’m so angry right now I can feel my asshole pucker,” he scoffed.

  Breathing deeply, he centered himself to go back out to the dining room and eat the food she’d prepared. One Way, however, was not prepared for what came next.

  ****

  As he sat at the table, eating the food, Cool Guy and the woman put away the groceries. He sipped at his tea as they each went for the suitcases. He didn’t know what was in each container, because, stupidly, he didn’t bother to check. Now, he wished he had.

  The largest case, the 29’ upright, was filled with items for the woman. The 25’ upright held clothing for the boy. The third case, the 21’ upright held shoes, socks, and undergarments for them both. One Way’s eyes grew large when the woman began to pull out matching undergarment sets. The one set, in red lace she picked up, her eyes going to him as she hid them behind her back from the boy.

  She swallowed hard.

  “I understand,” she said lowering her eyes to the floor.

  “You understand what? I didn’t buy this stuff! I most certainly didn’t buy that!” One Way said, raising his voice.

  “You didn’t?”

  “No, I didn’t,” he said. “I had a friend do the shopping based on the sizes you gave and I showed him a photo of you both. Tim, is going to get his ass kicked for putting that stuff in there.”

  “So, you don’t expect me to...I mean for us to...”

  “Woman, what is your deal?” One Way asked, standing up. “You keep bringing it up, like you’re trying to subliminally plant the idea in my head. Good grief.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, looking at her son who pulled out a tee shirt that actually said, cool guy. He was so over the top in excitement that he hadn’t heard a word of what the adults in the room was saying. “I just don’t know many men who would do something like this for the sake of doing it, simply to help. I’m sorry. Thank you for all of this.”

  “Thank you for cleaning the house and making me a lovely meal,” he said, looking around to see who was again, speaking on his behalf.

  “One Way, I’m not trying to plant any subliminal messages in your mind,” she said, looking down.

  “Yes, you are,” he accused her. “You clean my house from tip to stern, you fold my clothes, and made me homemade pasta. I see what you’re doing. Offering your body is a way to ensure you can stay, but I thank you for the work you’ve done, and I’ll do my best to get you two on your way.”

  Her face indicated hurt and he didn’t understand why.

  “Hey Cool Guy, take your stuff to your room,” he told the kid.

  “Yessir,” the boy said, gathering the suitcase, and two pairs of sneakers, and a pair of boots. “These boots are too cool.”

  On his way to the bedroom, he stopped in front of One Way, hugging him again. “I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” he said, pulling the kid off of him for the second time. His eyes now on the woman. His attention was now on the woman. “What is your deal Woman?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You keep offering me that
stuff...do you need to be tightened up? Is that what you’re saying? Based on the looks of the kid, I must be your type,” he said.

  “You arrogant son of a bi....”

  She didn’t get the words out of her mouth because he was in front of her. Standing toe to toe and she swore she never saw the man move. The smell of pasta on his breath smacked her in the nose. He smelled of sweat with a faint scent of orange. Her pupils almost dilated.

  “My mother is a good woman so you do well to not finish that thought,” he warned, grabbing her by the arm. “If you’re truly in need, I will take one for the team and get you over the hump, but it doesn’t mean that afterwards, I’m going to keep you.”

  It was then he saw it in her eyes. He’d struck a nerve. A raw, exposed nerve that throbbed with hatred as she jerked her arm away from him.

  “I tell you what Mr. One Way,” she said. “All I would have to do is let you get a sniff of my whiff and you’d buy me a car. After one night in your bed, not only would you let me stay, you’d build me my own wing of the house, so don’t think for a single, solitary second that breaking me off a piece of your twinky dinky is gonna make me long to be yours forever. I’m trying to pay you back for the kindness. My kindness doesn’t extend to what’s between my legs.”

  He actually smiled at her. A full-on toothy grin which unsettled the woman. She was a menace but he was a trained assassin. The woman had no idea what she was up against and he whispered the words softly.

  “I would make you cum so hard you’d have to wash my mattress,” he said to her. “Then, if, and this is a big if, I was feeling generous, when I was done, I might, and this is a big might, allow you the honor of reciprocating.”

  “Allow me?”

  “Yes, allow you the honor of touching me and bringing me pleasure,” he said. “Get these things out of my sight and put them away. I have calls to make. I’ll be in my room so don’t disturb me.”

  “Fine!”

  “Fine!”

  “What in the hell do you want for dinner!”