Buckeye and the Babe Read online

  “Yes. It is roughly a 29-hour drive from here to Georgia, then another 8-10 to Ohio. We can leave in the morning, driving all day, stopping at night for a fabulous dinner at some of the best diners across the southwest. Each morning, we have a quick breakfast, you be the navigator, and we will get into the Peach State on late Monday, early Tuesday, stay through the week, and then drive up to Ohio,” he said.

  The hopeful smile faded into a sarcastic glare, as she asked, “You are going to drive me to Ohio?”

  “I live in Elyria and you live in Cleveland,” he said.

  “Mr. Neary, you seem to know a great deal about me, and I feel like I’m at a disadvantage here,” she said.

  Gabriel leaned to the side, removing his wallet, giving the weathered leather ID holder to her.

  “What am I supposed to do with this?” she asked.

  “Go through it. Everything you need to know about me is in my wallet,” he said. “Snap photos, send them to Ms. Leman so she will know what you know, and we can make plans to rent us a vehicle,” he said adding that charming smile again.

  He was drawing her into the game where he held all the cards. Intrigued, she opened his wallet, and found his identification badge for the CIA, looking up at him noticing he was waiting for a response. She didn’t give him one. Thumbing through, she located his license as an ordained minister, two credit cards, a driver’s license, and a condom. The condom was next to the minister’s license.

  “I used to be a Boy Scout,” he said with a wink, indicating he was always prepared.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Neary. I would rather just fly to Georgia if that is okay with you,” she told him.

  “We could do that, but what fun would that be? It will cost the same, if not more, and you will be stuck on a stuffy flight with hungover people who either lost all their money or morality while in Vegas. Or...,” he said, licking his lips at the arrival of the steak and side dishes.

  He lost his train of thought when the food was sat on the table. The appetizer only made him hungrier. Knife and fork in hand, he was through talking. The scent of the seared meat took over his primary brain function.

  Meat.

  Man.

  Knife.

  Eat.

  “...Or what, Mr. Neary,” she stated. He seemed to have turned off his ability to speak as he cut into the steak, shoveling a wad of meat into his mouth. Chewing as if Zeus had sliced him off a piece of manna, and she could have sworn the man had just had an orgasm. He held up one finger, begging her to wait as he savored the chunk of cow flesh. Happily, Gabriel encouraged her to take a bite. She did, and he was right. It was almost orgasmic.

  “Sorry, that was a mouthful of awesomeness,” he said, grinning at her. He sliced another piece, this time holding it on his fork. “...or we can take a break and have some fun. Work will be there when we get back. Tameka is safe, my parents will be there over the weekend, and you and I can get to know each other as we have a really fun road trip.”

  “I’m not sleeping with you,” she stated bluntly.

  “Now, that is a disappointment, although I didn’t ask you to,” he said. “But, if that’s the way you want it.”

  He took the condom out of his wallet, placing it on the table. Leaning to the side, he put his wallet into his back pocket. The condom sat there staring at her. She threw her napkin over it as if he just placed a vibrating sex toy on the table. He suggested she put it in her purse if she wasn’t comfortable leaving on the table like it was a suggestive tip for the waiter. Reluctantly, using the napkin, she dropped the prophylactic into her handbag. Her eyes went to him in a challenge, waiting for his next move, which didn’t come.

  He let it go. Just like that. He didn’t argue or try to convince her otherwise, which in truth, left her disappointed as well. She crinkled her forehead, looking at him. It was a game. He’d pulled her into the game and good heavens, she wanted to play.

  “There is this great little eatery in Flagstaff which serves grilled cactus like you’ve never tasted. They also have prickly pear jam which is delightful on an English muffin,” he said to her.

  “What?” She said not understanding the moves he was making to draw her into the web of interesting he was weaving.

  “Oh, I’m a foodie. I love great food and good wine. I have a wine cellar at my place with about 150 bottles thus far. Each state has a great wine, and some of the vineyards across the southwest have really been stepping up their game. If we drive, we can dine and collect cool stuff,” he said, grinning at her. “I am trying to perfect my bar-b-que sauce, so driving would be an awesome means to gather the best sauces from each area.”

  Her face held a somber expression as she watched him dip a French fry in the bleu cheese crumbles. The idea of stopping in each state they passed through to pick up small items sounded fun. She hadn’t traveled a great deal across America and the thought of doing so truly would be a welcome relief after 11 months of constant worry about Aisha, now named Tameka.

  “You are a collector?”

  “Not really, but I like wine, so I could add to my collection. I am redoing my Grandmother’s old house and I can’t decide on a theme, so maybe I could get some inspiration,” he said. “Do you collect anything?”

  “Shot glasses,” she said.

  “Well, good for you,” he said, cutting another hunk of meat. She could not fathom where he was going to put all the food, let alone eat the entire meal.

  “I also scrapbook,” she told him.

  “Cool, let’s snap a selfie to add to your new book about the start of our adventure, and then head to the show to see the hypnotist. You can add the dinner check from here, plus the tickets to the starter page!”

  “Okay,” she said, not realizing she’d just given in to his play. “But just so you know, I don’t believe in hypnosis.”

  “Me either. I’m trained against it,” he said. “You know, secret agent and all.”

  That was the cue for her to ask the question about what he did for a living. He, of course, would counter with “If I tell you, I would have to kill you.” The game was afoot, but she was smarter than he gave her credit for. Instead, she made her move. The idea of driving across the Southwest sounded a whole lot more fun than taking another flight, getting into Georgia and possibly ending up in the same fate as her friend.

  “I will rent the car and get the map. We alternate on paying for hotel stays. I have a few reward programs we can use for chains like the Holiday Inn, but we are still talking about $100 bucks a night, plus food, collectibles, gas, and snacks,” she said. “If we plot it outright, we can probably get it all done for less than $800 total.”

  Gabriel gave her his undivided attention. Practical. Smart. She just outmaneuvered him on his spy play. He found the woman to be stimulating. Shifting in his seat, he countered back.

  “For safety purposes, we can share a room, but I get my own bed, with no funny stuff from you, okay?” He said it with a somber expression.

  The expression on her face was priceless when she asked, “Funny stuff? From me?”

  “Yeah, I don’t want to wake up and find you in my bed or on top of me trying to take advantage of my good nature in sharing a room with you,” he said with a straight face.

  She couldn’t help it, and she burst into laughter.

  “Fair enough,” she said with a genuinely warm smile. “We split everything evenly?”

  “No problem,” he said as the waiter brought the check. Gabriel handed it to her. “We can start with the dinner check.”

  Chapter 2 – Reset the Clocks

  The sound of DeShondra rumbling about in the kitchenette woke Cabrina with a start. Sitting straight up in bed, her eyes wide and hair disheveled, she looked on the floor for her pajama pants. Hastily dressing in a loose fitted tee, she padded barefoot into the main room of the suite, feebly trying to tie the drawstring in the pants. Too late she realized she had put the pants on inside out and her good friend, taking into account her state, gave an
approving look.

  “Thank goodness you got some last night. Maybe you won’t look so tight about the mouth like you sucked on a tart lime,” DeShondra said, puckering up making fish lips.

  “You don’t seem too worse for wear,” Cabrina added, sticking her hands into the pockets of the striped pink pajama bottoms. It took three tries, considering the pockets were on the outside of the pants.

  “Girl, that bearded bastard hit it so hard and so deep, he reset my reproductive clock. I can hear it ticking in my ears to run back downstairs and start working on giving him three adorable little ashy babies,” DeShondra said. She rummaged through the cupboards, looking for a little packet of complimentary hotel coffee to jumpstart her love hungover brain.

  Cabrina, trying to shake off her own love hangover, asked, “Shondra, why do the babies have to be ashy?”

  Without warning, DeShondra pulled up her dress, showing off her bottom which was in fact, in dire need of a chunk of cocoa butter. The dryness of her skin had surpassed the ability of lotion to be of any benefit. Cabrina reached forward, pulling the tail of the dress down. She didn’t need to see all of that before her first cup of coffee.

  “See, my skin is so dry that I have to use prescription strength lotion. I see you’re frowning at me. You and Mae Laun can both kiss my ashy ass,” DeShondra said.

  “I don’t even know who Mae Laun is or how she factors into this conversation,” Cabrina retorted, trying with very little success to get her friend back on topic.

  “Mae Laun is the little Vietnamese lady that does my feet,” she said with wide eyes. “I started this course on Pronunciator to learn the language, because every time I walked into the shop, she would always say the same thing to the girl behind the desk. Like, here comes chân cá sấu. I looked that shit up, too.”

  “Well, what does it mean?”

  “It means alligator feet,” DeShondra said. Cabrina pressed her lips tightly together to keep from laughing. “That heffah is saying my skin is so dry, that she calls me alligator feet!”

  “Shondra, why do you keep going back to her if you know the lady is insulting you? You don’t pay people to talk down to you,” Cabrina said in an effort to offer an ounce of comfort.

  “I have to. She takes good care of my feet, and they don’t feel so rough when she is done,” she said, adding water to the coffee hopper. “Besides, I would have to start all over and train someone else how to shave my bunions.”

  At that point, Cabrina did laugh. She needed to ease her way into the remaining conversation and the change of plans for the day. DeShondra wasn’t going to be happy, but this was important to her. Aisha was important to her and she needed to see her in the new role she’d taken on as the wife of Gabriel’s brother. More than anything, she wanted to make sure if Aisha was unhappy, she could leave.

  “Ahh, Shondra, I have a slight change of plans,” she said softly. “I am going to leave this morning and head to Georgia to see Aisha.”

  “Are you out of your gourd? Didn’t they tell you it was dangerous to go sniffing around them mountain folks! I swear, sometimes, you act like you don’t have the sense God gave a chicken. At least a chicken knows its job is to peck in the dirt and lay eggs.”

  Cabrina lowered her head. “I’m not going alone. Gabe and I are going to rent a car and drive to Georgia, then spend a few days before driving on up to Ohio. He lives in Elyria,” she offered.

  “Shut up! Shut the front door and call me Becky! You, of all people, are going to drive across country with a man you don’t know in a rented car, for damn near 40 hours. You got cabin fever driving for three hours with me to the beach,” DeShondra said.

  “I got sick because you wear too much perfume, and the car was hot and smelled like feet and old French fries,” she countered.

  “Don’t be dissing my car. I am a woman on the move plus this is not like you,” DeShondra said. “You had sex with him and now you are planning to drive across country. That must have been some mighty powerful loving.”

  “It’s going to be our honeymoon,” Cabrina said in a hushed tone. Her cheeks grew red under the confession.

  “Your what?” DeShondra asked, her head cocked to the side.

  Cabrina pulled her left hand from her pocket to show off her new wedding rings. The diamonds glittered brightly on her finger, catching the light. DeShondra took a seat. Words had left her.

  “See, what had happened was...we went to dinner at Cut, he was playing this game with me, pulling me into this sexy match of wits, and it was kind of fun,” she said, grinning. “After dinner, we went to the hypnotist show and got called on stage.”

  Meticulously Cabrina recounted the evening. First, she explained that neither of them believed in hypnosis, and the man really didn’t put them under. “He asked Gabe if we were dating, and Gabe said yes, which kind of shocked me. Then the Great Ronzini, that was the hypnotist’s name, asked if we were in a committed relationship, and Gabe answered yes again. And here is where it gets all screwy. Ronzini asked what he was waiting for in order to make me his wife. That’s when Gabe got down on one knee and proposed. Right there on stage in front of a crowd of people,” Cabrina said, her cheeks pinking.

  “Hold the hell up. I need some coffee,” DeShondra said, pouring half a mug for them both.

  Next, Cabrina elaborated on the fake ring Ronzini gave Gabe to put on her finger. The showman also gave them a free ceremony at the Brighter Nights Wedding Chapel. She even explained that Ronzini had written down the password to break the hypnotic spell and stuck it in Gabe’s jeans pocket.

  “Shondra, honestly, I went along with it to see how far he was going to take it, not knowing that we would end up as man and wife,” Cabrina said.

  “Those are some pretty fancy rings. They must have maxed out his credit card,” DeShondra observed.

  “No, we got these for $600 bucks at a pawn shop! Gabe said the stores in Vegas were overpriced for impulse buyers. The pawn shops are where to find the best deals in the city, and lo and behold, this set, we snagged these jewels for a fraction of the cost. I also found an interesting wedding band for him as well,” she said with pride.

  “Well, whoop de damned doo for you two,” DeShondra said taking a large gulp of the coffee. “So, tell me. Did you get married by an Elvis?”

  Cabrina blushed, as she rose from the chair to fetch her purse. She pulled from the contents a folder which held their wedding photos. The groom presented a dashing figure on film in his black tux and Cabrina was radiant in a full-length white gown, with a veil, baby’s breath in her hair, and a pretty bouquet full of pink fresh flowers.

  “Wow, not too shabby,” DeShondra said eyeing the couple.

  “The wedding ceremony was free, so we paid the extra $50 each to rent the gowns and tux,” she said smiling. “The minister was really nice, and Gabe insisted upon seeing his credentials before he did the ceremony.”

  “Oh, how thorough of him,” DeShondra said snidely.

  “Gabriel, hmm...he married his brother and Aisha. He is an ordained minister, and he wanted to make sure a man of the cloth married us and not some guy who got a certificate online,” she said proudly.

  “You cannot, on any given Sunday in a Baptist Church standing on a stack of black Bibles, convince me, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that man with the come get some eyes is a minister. Of what church? What faith? Who ordained his sexy ass?”

  “He actually went to divinity school,” she said, feeling a bit of pride in her handsome hunk of a hubby.

  “You may want to pray for Jesus to do more than take the wheel while you are driving with that one. Cabrina! Really!”

  “I know. I know, but there is this connection between us that is like sparkles on a unicorn’s butt when we touch. He’s smart, intelligent, and a heck of a lover, and I don’t know. Right now, I needed some light in my life, and even if it doesn’t work out, for a week, I get to have some fun. I need some fun, DeShondra,” she said, her eyes watering.

  �
��Fun is screwing him then getting up and going on about your business. You could have had some fun without marrying the man!”

  “DeShondra, this may sound strange, but I think I’m going to enjoy being his wife,” Cabrina said.

  “That is until he pulls that piece of paper out of his pocket and reads what’s on it and wakes up from the dream love state you are in and says, Hell, no!” she retorted. As she spoke the words, the bedroom door opened, revealing a sleepy Gabriel, rubbing his eyes.

  “Cabrina, is there enough coffee for me to take a swig and get my eyes open?” he asked. “Good morning, Ms. Leman.”

  “I’ll pour you a cup,” Cabrina volunteered.

  “Thank you, and good morning, my beautiful wife,” he said to Cabrina, kissing her on the mouth.

  “Hey, magic kisser man, in your pants pocket is a piece of paper. Pull out the note and read it to me,” DeShondra said.

  Long fingers slid into the front pockets of his jeans, pulling out a strip of yellow paper. Her unfolded it slowly, looking down at the word. “Hashtag,” Gabriel said, looking at DeShondra.

  She clapped her hands in an aha moment, waiting for something to happen. Both he and Cabrina stared at her. She shrugged her shoulders in confusion.

  “That word was supposed to bring you out of the hypnosis,” DeShondra told him.

  “I wasn’t hypnotized. Were you, Cabrina?”

  “No, I wasn’t,” she said.

  “So, you are telling me, you two got married because you wanted to?”

  “Yep, she is a babe and all mine,” he said, taking the cup handed to him. “Speaking of being all mine, we need to get moving so we can get on the road. DeShondra, do you need a lift to the airport or any assistance getting out of Vegas?’

  “No, I got it. Y'all are actually just gonna leave me here...like I’m an old bad habit or something,” she said. Gabriel ignored DeShondra’s statement of the obvious, focusing his attention on his wife.